There are those life moments. Someone shows you themselves. Someone you’ve trusted for years has become someone else and someone you thought would stay has decide to settle elsewhere.
I’ve battled with forgiveness for awhile. I’ve stayed angry, hurt, bitter and desired to take matters into my own hands and help the “reaping and sowing” process find its way.
Through this warring of forgiveness and unforgiveness you get tired and reflect, ponder for truth.
I had always thought forgiveness meant forgetting and if the forgetting didn’t happen well, my forgiveness was flawed. I had always thought forgiveness was about the doer of the wrong and less about me.
I’ve warred in mind and spirit for real resolve.
Forgiveness is more about me and less about the other person.
Forgiveness is a process but deeming someone unforgivable is much easier, seems to offer up some silent vindication for the wrong done.
Forgiveness is for my freedom.
My freedom from bitterness, hatred, coldness, anger, and desire for recompose.
All of these emotions are chains.
All of those emotions will bind us to sleepless nights and bleeding days.
All of those emotions can outgrow the best of us and destroy our spirits. Those emotions will never affect the doer of the act, no matter how many fights, talks, texts or gossip,
none of those emotions will ever reach inside the other person and bring redemption, the most they will do is destroy you, handicap the soul and turn all that is good to dust.
These emotions over time will wrap their chains around and drag you through illness and deserted streets no matter how busy they seem, to you they will be empty.
Forgiveness will allow the reaping and sowing process to have a perfect work on the person(s) that have done the ill deed. At some point the enemy that resides within themselves will turn and devour what’s left of them. Forgiveness would rather see all of that bring redemptions to the one in need. We all deal with trauma that cause us to act and react.
This day I chose to forgive despite the warring in my emotions. I will war to forgive and allow all that reaps and sows to have a work in you and free you.