Thoughts from a journal

Personal thoughts from my writings..

I’ve seen so many memes,

quotes and status that say, “life is to short to hold onto bitterness, grudges, hurts and angers.”

True but these are real created emotions and ignoring them will serve no purpose, ignored emotions will only cause them to resurface later.

Let’s take another look at this meme.

Life is not only to short to serve such emotions.

Life is not only to short to ignore these emotions,

life is to short to create these emotions in someone else’s life.

Life is to short for someone to serve emotions, such as self pleasure that creates

in someone’s life,

reactions that are nothing more then how someone was made to feel.

As a humanity we need to learn how to better care for one another, treat one another, creating a different reflection/reaction of self.

Ex – if I create anger in someone’s life, that anger is nothing more then a reflection of how I treated or cared for someone. That anger is a reflection of me not of themselves.

As a humanity we can do better, we can create better.

We may not all agree but we can all find a middle ground to work from.

-Namaste my friends 💜

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“Tomorrow”

Hospital conversations…

Had a conversation with a patient that is worth sharing.

Patient is on the younger side.

Me: how are you? I need to take your vitals.

Patient: okay. I’m just miserable. This is my life now, this is what I’ve become.

The patient continued to explain what happened but the last part of what she said stuck with me.

“You never really realize how much you haven’t lived until you can’t anymore.

There’s so much i had wanted to experience, people I had wanted to reconnect with, places and things I wanted to do but you know, tomorrow. I’ll make that call tomorrow. I’ll do that thing tomorrow. I’ll experience this thing I’ve been wanting to tomorrow. Well look, I’m in my tomorrow now and most of what I’m doing now is wondering why I waited, the regrets. I never really realized I wasn’t living until tomorrow came and showed me.”

We continued to talk but what she said really stuck with me. All the memes that say “it’s never to late to begin.” Sometimes it is, sometimes tomorrow comes and just grabs your step and stops you. Sometimes the way we are living isn’t really living, sometimes all this stuff we are doing is nothing more then a distraction to life and we get comfortable existing.

So what is it, what do you wanna experience, touch, feel, see and just do to wake it all up inside?

Breadcrumbs

Breadcrumbs

You will awaken to the truth of words and the world be different.

The smallest of words that carry the biggest meaning will be empty, neglected and starved.

What is real will be given over to the flesh.

Your breath will be lost because you see it was never really about you

replaced

forgotten,

so you close your eyes so you no longer see.

The words will return to bargain

phrases that never sleep,

breadcrumbs

to lure you back into its own brokenness.

Donald

I am grateful to say my next book event will be at masters mana. Masters mana is a local food pantry that offers hope to so many. The goal is to fill the shelves and offer services to people like Donald.

This is Donald.

Donald is an elderly man who lived out of his car.

I remember Donald well, he would walk the streets of Wallingford offering to clean windows and anything that he could use a sponge for. In return all he asked for was a meal.

Months back I had the privilege of talking with Donald at a local laundry mat. He was standing on the curb asking passer buyers if he could clean their car windows or carry in laundry for $1, he wanted enough to earn a meal.

I let him take my clothes in and we sat and talked.

Some people were fairly disgusted with me because of his condition and the smell. Most of the people in the laundry mat thought he was an addict, alcoholic, lazy and someone who wanted a hand out. None of these people took the time to talk to him though just assumed they knew.

I took Donald outside because it was fairly uncomfortable for everyone.

Donald told me how he lost everything due to medical issues, lost his shelter and has no family. Eventually he was forced to live out of his car.

The system that he had worked to support failed him and left him stranded.

I gave him $5 to eat and wished him well.

I haven’t seen Donald in about 2 years and had always wondered what happened to him. The last I heard he was hospitalized but was later released.

Walking through masters mana I noticed Donald’s picture and I had asked what happened to him.

Gail explained how Donald was one of their success stories.

Donald was assigned a conservator and is now in a small apartment, and off the streets thanks to all the work masters mana has done.

Masters mana isn’t just about feeding those struggling and offering basic necessities. Masters mana is also about building success stories such as Donald’s.

Most understand that in today’s economy everyone being squeezed by their own leaders are only

a medical,

a loss of a job,

injury at work

(and other circumstances that aren’t always within our control),

paycheck away from losing everything.

This is hope…

Forgiveness

There are those life moments. Someone shows you themselves. Someone you’ve trusted for years has become someone else and someone you thought would stay has decide to settle elsewhere.

I’ve battled with forgiveness for awhile. I’ve stayed angry, hurt, bitter and desired to take matters into my own hands and help the “reaping and sowing” process find its way.

Through this warring of forgiveness and unforgiveness you get tired and reflect, ponder for truth.

I had always thought forgiveness meant forgetting and if the forgetting didn’t happen well, my forgiveness was flawed. I had always thought forgiveness was about the doer of the wrong and less about me.

I’ve warred in mind and spirit for real resolve.

Forgiveness is more about me and less about the other person.

Forgiveness is a process but deeming someone unforgivable is much easier, seems to offer up some silent vindication for the wrong done.

Forgiveness is for my freedom.

My freedom from bitterness, hatred, coldness, anger, and desire for recompose.

All of these emotions are chains.

All of those emotions will bind us to sleepless nights and bleeding days.

All of those emotions can outgrow the best of us and destroy our spirits. Those emotions will never affect the doer of the act, no matter how many fights, talks, texts or gossip,

none of those emotions will ever reach inside the other person and bring redemption, the most they will do is destroy you, handicap the soul and turn all that is good to dust.

These emotions over time will wrap their chains around and drag you through illness and deserted streets no matter how busy they seem, to you they will be empty.

Forgiveness will allow the reaping and sowing process to have a perfect work on the person(s) that have done the ill deed. At some point the enemy that resides within themselves will turn and devour what’s left of them. Forgiveness would rather see all of that bring redemptions to the one in need. We all deal with trauma that cause us to act and react.

This day I chose to forgive despite the warring in my emotions. I will war to forgive and allow all that reaps and sows to have a work in you and free you.

Who does government work for?

“Every politician should have to live on the same streets their polices loom over.”

Those running for office will say,

“Who does government work for?!”

The answer has proven itself over the years, government works best for the politicians.

Politicians exempt themselves from

stagnant wages,

mandated healthcare

rationed meals

rationed medications

walking to work because the car broke down and there’s not enough to fix it despite the fact that someone works 2-3 jobs,

exempt from the true effects of a corrupt economic system whether that be capitalism or socialism,

despite the fact that someone works 2-3 jobs and still needs to go to the food pantry, a political figure running for the presidential office will never be so affected by stagnant wages that they need to stand in line at a food pantry,

exempt from hunger,

using a stove to heat a small area in the kitchen

boil water on a stove to bathe because stagnant wages have made it impossible to keep up with rising costs.

So who does government work for? The government itself.

Picture: Bridgeport CT-local paper