My hometown

I remember it well, standing in the church listening to Jesse Jackson speak about unity and the kkk.
We sat and prepared ourselves to take a stand against the klan, you could hear them outside, waiting for us to come out and walk to the town hall.
After being told how to handle everything the doors to the church opened and we made our way down the steps.
The klan was there, microphone and speaker standing unified, yelling things I won’t repeat on this post.
We walked by them, never spoke, never blinked, never uttered a word. We made our way to the town hall to peaceful stand.
I vividly remember growing up with the klan ever present in my town. I lived very close to the down town area and would run down the street to the record store but would always slow down nearing the corner, the klan would be there standing and handing out pamphlets trying to get ppl to join.
I remember how they made me feel, scared. Always being instructed by my parents and grandmother to never take anything from them. I would say no but they would insist, I would get far enough away and fling it.
I remember holding my grandmothers hand walking to jimmy’s near the railroad station, the klan was there and she told me, “don’t flinch, don’t look at them and don’t entertain demons. Just walk right through them.”
My grandmother would be proud of the progress made in this town.
The klan was a fixture here, I would watch them drive those big black Cadillacs into the cemetery for what I don’t know.
I remember how they would gather in groups up town and downtown, I remember the skin heads being around.
I remember Jesse Jackson coming back to help us again, I remember the heightened emotions this time, the words of disgust being spoken to them, one persons even pulled the hood off of a klan memeber.
I remember Matthew Hale coming and speaking.
I remember all of this well. I know the reputation of this town, I know what people say but I would hope people would take into account the battle that went on to break away from them, push them out of this town.
People may tell you that there hasn’t been much of this in the past but there has been and I tell you that to also say that we have truly come far.
People may tell you that there is still open kkk meetings but in all honesty I haven’t seen or heard of any.
People have spoken about burning Wallingford down, I would hope people would take a moment to understand the fight that went on to push the klan out, to bring in more diversity, to stand against racism, and to progress as a town. Is there still racism in this town, yes.
I remember the growing up with the klan in this town and I remember the battle that went on to push them out and silence their open meetings.
There are some good people here that have fought agansit the klan and helped Wallingford to progress.
Many have stood against the klan in this town, there was no hashtags, or live feeds just people standing for the rights of others to live without fear.

My thoughts

As posted on Facebook.

Sorry for the long read.
I’m gonna put some thoughts out there, appreciated or not.
I’ve remained fairly quiet about all of this simply because my view is skewed based on my job and time hasn’t allowed it.
I’ve had a few days, read through several different articles and postings.
These are my thoughts:
Is the virus real? Yes. Is the virus deadly? Yes, compromised immune systems, and the elderly seem to most at risk. I see several posts that say, “the elderly don’t mind dying to save the economy(I find this repulsive).” “Let the healthy, young work, we need paychecks, the rest of you can stay home so we can keep the economy going” okay but, many elderly still need to work, many compromised still need to work, both are in need of paychecks but that would require most to wear masks which many refuse to do, so what do you do? Let them lose everything? Let them go without food? Aren’t these the very things you don’t want to go without? why should they.
You say things such as “don’t infringe on my rights” while you infringe on the rights of others.
Have certain state officials over stepped? Yes.
Have states over planned? Yes. If they under planned wouldn’t that mean they’re trying to kill us all? So they over plan and it’s a hoax?
You see healthcare staff dancing, that means it’s fake? If you had any idea what this has done to some healthcare staff you may understand better. Post criticizing healthcare staff has lead to the public lashing out(in some areas), claiming that healthcare workers are fake and being paid by “soros” to take care of covid19 patients that are actors and actresses. There was an incident in my local Walmart that lead to the cops being called to safely escort 2 healthcare workers out and walked to their cars. This is okay? Must be it’s all an act anyways.
There are some receiving unemployment +600 and are making more on unemployment than working, some are making more than those still employed. Some unemployed have refused payments from their place of work because unemployment pays more per week. Some are making less and truly struggling but all the right sees is one side and all the left sees is one side, there’s two realities here. Some are taking advantage of the system while others are truly struggling to make ends meet. There are employees trying to get fired because they know they’ll make more on unemployment.
We are so completely polarized that it’s either all or nothing.
It’s either a real virus or it’s fake.
The ironic thing is most claiming this is fake know someone who passed from it.
So let’s end with this, I see posts that say “every death is because of covid19, even a car accident is because of the virus.” If someone catches the virus and passed as a result, they have simply died from it. If someone has an underline condition and has the virus and pass from it, yes it’s because of the virus, the patient would be alive otherwise.
Is their dirty politics involved, yes but we as a people can do better for one another.
Not once have I ever said “stay home, wear a mask” and so on. Do as you will but be cautious for the elderly persons that still need a paycheck to put food on the table and please don’t expect them to be the worldly sacrifice for a system that doesn’t give a shit about them or you. You think an elderly politician would be sacrificed for the system, no. Be cautious of the compromised because they also need to put food on the table and probably have more medical expenses then you or I do.
You can’t demand your rights be all that matters when that means others have to sacrifice there rights for yours. You can’t say don’t tread on me if your treading on someone elses.
Why am I saying this, because after my last post I received an inbox alluding to the fact that I was a fake healthcare worker being paid by George soros.
I am not a fake healthcare worker being paid by soros.
Let me state this for the record, I do want people back to work, the elderly and compromised included. I would hate to small businesses close up leaving us with corporations.

Take a moment

One thing I’ve learned about fear;
Fear creates a response/reaction similar to its own seed.
Fear will cause
Flight.
Paralysis = non reaction or denial to an extreme.
Fight.
You can look back months from now and realize you’ve reacted solely out fear without rational thought and now your regretful for
behaviors,
judgments,
not conversing with someone,
leaving someone alone to long,
failing to take steps that put you in the direction of you want.
I could go on but you get the point.
Fear now in this moment can cause you to feel your life is worth more than another’s life but what makes a life more valuable are any of really that much more important than the other.
The hand apart from the arm can’t function.
The housekeeper scrubbing tirelessly to keep disinfect a hospital, the check clerks and the grocery store ringing you out, the ppl who stock the shelves.
Point is fear can lead us to places of superiority but none of us can survive without the other(not well anyways). The CEO of a hospital, board members who place themselves in comfortable positions, very few will take the floors and care for those affected. These upper tiers of management wouldn’t have much If those on the frontlines weren’t their to care for others well, despite age, color, nationality, gender, beliefs or deeds. No matter how contagious someone is the ones on the top tiers will not be taking care of you, filling your baskets, sticking your shelves, delivering your food or disinfecting your walls. The most this top tier will do is demand more output from their staff, more multitasking, working harder without bonuses, without pats on the back, without raises, without thank you’s.
In ending don’t let fear cause you to mistreat someone. Treat those around you the way you’d like to be treated. What would you want someone to do for you?
Walk through your day rationally, kindly, patiently and try to understand the cashier checking you out has probably been standing at that cash register for hours, tired and just has afraid as you. The nurse, the doctor, the nurses aide is probably exhausted and is nervous about new admissions coming in, and will be pulling long hours, take a moment to just understand.
Take a moment today to breathe and reflect.

This place

We all hit this place,

We desire to hear something more than the alarm clock going off,

car door slamming shut,

employee badge swiping the time clock.

We desire to hear life, to feel every pulse,

to live beyond all of that.

To not just strum some chords but to feel each note and it’s rhythm, within.

We desire to see something more than the glare of the sun hitting the windshield,

we desire to see the sun rise and hear the sun set, to feel every moment of it.

We desire laughter, not just to hear it but to feel the sound.

We desire to not just survive it all but to live through each moment, to be this expression of a life that can be felt from within.

Live podcast interview

www.facebook.com/100004560851160/posts/1353912448104104/

https://www.facebook.com/climbinglifer/videos/799501933809052/

Hope everyone is able to view this. Not sure if WordPress will show link.

I had the opportunity to do a live podcast this morning, spoke about climbing and my writings. Nervous about it, completely out of my comfort zone but now that it’s over, glad I said yes.

Anyone able to view I do appreciate it and feedback is welcome

Circus of the gods

What president has been pure and beyond corruptible acts.

Has one not abused power nor acted as though he is above the law.

Has one not given nor received gifts.

Have all been brought to trial for the protection of the people due to corrupt behaviors and endeavors.

has one not acted as king.

Has one fought against the dark systems..

There are none,

all have been silent and their silence has been so self can receive power and gains.

All are filthy,

corruption, abuse of power and obstruction of justices have been done by all but has now become a grave concern.

Corruption

abuse of power

have now become a self defined thing to be sold for power and gains.

All are dirty

All are moral hypocrites running a circus at the expense of the people.

These politicians who claim to care about and fight for the people will still live above every policy they support or create. Not one of their supported policies will ever put them in a homeless shelter, standing in a line at the food pantry, unable to afford medications, or having to relocate due to high taxes and rising rents,

you will though.

Their wages never seem to become stagnant,

yours will…

Thankful and grateful

A day earlier but I wish everyone a memorable day of thanks and of giving.

May we ponder life and all that we take for granted and over look.

Hope all who celebrate enjoy their day with family and friends.

For those local: If you have no where to go free meals will be given at the local church(first Congregational)12p-2p.

-Grateful for the days that drag and lead absolutely nowhere.

-Grateful for the scars on my body seen and unseen, both have a story and a lesson learned.

-Grateful for the sleepless nights, those nights have taught me, my greatest battle is self.

-Grateful for those who have decided to leave my life and for those who have chosen to stay, both have taught me and shown me self.

-Grateful for the patients at work, I have found more life in those getting ready to pass on than in those living.

Grateful for the battles and rock bottoms I didn’t think I’d survive, both have taught me, within all of us exists both an addict and a sober nature.

-Grateful for family that has stood and remained despite hardships.

Grateful for the rescue dog(s)that have saved me. Have taught me patience.

-Grateful for the numerous conversations I’ve been privileged to have with the true poor they have shown me,

humanity is of spirit and not in fine cloth, perfect body size, polished nails, filters and expensive jewels. True humanity is within..of the spirit. The true poor are a mere reflection of those elected(privileged) officials who have failed those they were elected to serve.

-Grateful for the coffee person who seems to know exactly when I need that lift the most.

Grateful for the stranger on the street who said hi.

-Grateful for deep conversations that lead absolutely nowhere but leave you pondering life.

-Grateful for the simple breath, many are on their last today.

Personal share

So, the emails from the publisher are below.

I honestly wasn’t expecting such a strong reaction in favor of my pieces.

I had originally figured a chapbook would be about it but the company wants a full length book.

Work has been accepted and idk I’m somewhat surprised by the strong reaction.

Phase two in the writing journey.

Possibly a full length book to come!

Seeing this journey back began on a rock. The picture below is a route i had worked on for months, destroyed me and built me up again!

Thoughts from a journal

Personal thoughts from my writings..

I’ve seen so many memes,

quotes and status that say, “life is to short to hold onto bitterness, grudges, hurts and angers.”

True but these are real created emotions and ignoring them will serve no purpose, ignored emotions will only cause them to resurface later.

Let’s take another look at this meme.

Life is not only to short to serve such emotions.

Life is not only to short to ignore these emotions,

life is to short to create these emotions in someone else’s life.

Life is to short for someone to serve emotions, such as self pleasure that creates

in someone’s life,

reactions that are nothing more then how someone was made to feel.

As a humanity we need to learn how to better care for one another, treat one another, creating a different reflection/reaction of self.

Ex – if I create anger in someone’s life, that anger is nothing more then a reflection of how I treated or cared for someone. That anger is a reflection of me not of themselves.

As a humanity we can do better, we can create better.

We may not all agree but we can all find a middle ground to work from.

-Namaste my friends 💜

“Tomorrow”

Hospital conversations…

Had a conversation with a patient that is worth sharing.

Patient is on the younger side.

Me: how are you? I need to take your vitals.

Patient: okay. I’m just miserable. This is my life now, this is what I’ve become.

The patient continued to explain what happened but the last part of what she said stuck with me.

“You never really realize how much you haven’t lived until you can’t anymore.

There’s so much i had wanted to experience, people I had wanted to reconnect with, places and things I wanted to do but you know, tomorrow. I’ll make that call tomorrow. I’ll do that thing tomorrow. I’ll experience this thing I’ve been wanting to tomorrow. Well look, I’m in my tomorrow now and most of what I’m doing now is wondering why I waited, the regrets. I never really realized I wasn’t living until tomorrow came and showed me.”

We continued to talk but what she said really stuck with me. All the memes that say “it’s never to late to begin.” Sometimes it is, sometimes tomorrow comes and just grabs your step and stops you. Sometimes the way we are living isn’t really living, sometimes all this stuff we are doing is nothing more then a distraction to life and we get comfortable existing.

So what is it, what do you wanna experience, touch, feel, see and just do to wake it all up inside?