Longing to forget

Longing to forget

You are the music I long to forget,

wrapped in every word

tangled around every string.

In the empty space you are still held.

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Breadcrumbs

Breadcrumbs

You will awaken to the truth of words and the world be different.

The smallest of words that carry the biggest meaning will be empty, neglected and starved.

What is real will be given over to the flesh.

Your breath will be lost because you see it was never really about you

replaced

forgotten,

so you close your eyes so you no longer see.

The words will return to bargain

phrases that never sleep,

breadcrumbs

to lure you back into its own brokenness.

Forgiveness

There are those life moments. Someone shows you themselves. Someone you’ve trusted for years has become someone else and someone you thought would stay has decide to settle elsewhere.

I’ve battled with forgiveness for awhile. I’ve stayed angry, hurt, bitter and desired to take matters into my own hands and help the “reaping and sowing” process find its way.

Through this warring of forgiveness and unforgiveness you get tired and reflect, ponder for truth.

I had always thought forgiveness meant forgetting and if the forgetting didn’t happen well, my forgiveness was flawed. I had always thought forgiveness was about the doer of the wrong and less about me.

I’ve warred in mind and spirit for real resolve.

Forgiveness is more about me and less about the other person.

Forgiveness is a process but deeming someone unforgivable is much easier, seems to offer up some silent vindication for the wrong done.

Forgiveness is for my freedom.

My freedom from bitterness, hatred, coldness, anger, and desire for recompose.

All of these emotions are chains.

All of those emotions will bind us to sleepless nights and bleeding days.

All of those emotions can outgrow the best of us and destroy our spirits. Those emotions will never affect the doer of the act, no matter how many fights, talks, texts or gossip,

none of those emotions will ever reach inside the other person and bring redemption, the most they will do is destroy you, handicap the soul and turn all that is good to dust.

These emotions over time will wrap their chains around and drag you through illness and deserted streets no matter how busy they seem, to you they will be empty.

Forgiveness will allow the reaping and sowing process to have a perfect work on the person(s) that have done the ill deed. At some point the enemy that resides within themselves will turn and devour what’s left of them. Forgiveness would rather see all of that bring redemptions to the one in need. We all deal with trauma that cause us to act and react.

This day I chose to forgive despite the warring in my emotions. I will war to forgive and allow all that reaps and sows to have a work in you and free you.

And then you wake up

You will awaken to the truth of words and the world be different.

The smallest of words that carry the biggest meaning will be empty, neglected and starved, what’s real has been given over to the flesh.

Your breath will be lost because you see it was never really about you,

replaced,

disconnected

you close your eyes so you no longer see.

The words will return to bargain,

phrases that never sleep

to lure you back into its own brokenness.

**image taken from the video, until it sleeps.”